10 February 2021
We hope that parents, colleagues and friends will enjoy this parodying of a Zoom lesson. We would like to reassure everyone that this is not common place at Abingdon Prep, our boys arrive on time and are focussed for the vast majority of their online lessons. Many thanks to our Deputy Head, Rachel Pairman, for this insight into those rare occasions when everything doesn’t go so smoothly!
(All pupil names have been changed)
Welcome to Zoom Maths
Yes, Theo, I know we can see James’ dog but let’s look at the white board now…
…I’m pleased your dog enjoyed the snow, Alex, but I’m just going to mute you…and you, Sidney, even though it is impressive that your cat seems to enjoy maths lessons and sits on your keyboard…
…Ollie you keep shouting that you can’t hear me…can you hear me now? I can definitely hear you…try dropping out and coming back in again…
…Harry, you are quite late, where have you been?…well, if you were sitting in someone else’s waiting room for ten minutes it might have been worth checking your timetable if they haven’t let you in…
…Ollie, you obviously can’t hear me still…
…Teddy can’t hear or be heard? How do you know, Sidney? Right, well, I’m going to turn the chat off as I’m not sure it helps if 12 of you have offered your IT suggestions to Teddy…
…I will use the white board to write you a note instead ‘T-e-d-d-y, i-s t-h-e-r-e a-n-y-o-n-e a-t h-o-m-e w-h-o c-a-n h-e-l-p?’…
…Yes, Ollie, I can still hear you, let me write you a note too ‘O-l-l-i-e, p-l-e-a-s-e s-t-o-p s-h-o-u-t-i-n-g ‘I c-a-n-’t h-e-a-r y-o-u’, y-o-u w-i-l-l j-u-s-t h-a-v-e t-o l-o-o-k a-t t-h-e w-h-i-t-e b-o-a-r-d…
…Ah, I can see Teddy’s mum has arrived to help and disappeared under the desk to look at the wires…hope you are ok Teddy’s mum…
….James, why have you only just arrived? The lesson started a while ago…you were still eating your tuna bagel? Ah, I’m just going to mute you James as I think your mum might need some privacy on the call to her work colleague about the contract….
….Ollie, I know you can’t hear me but…let me write it down… ‘W-e h-a-v-e-n-’t g-o-t s-t-a-r-t-e-d y-e-t, l-o-t-s o-f t-e-c-h i-s-s-u-e-s’…
…Ah thank you Teddy’s mum, loud and clear now…
…Tom, you are looking puzzled…are you ok or is there a problem? You need to unmute…unmute….I still can’t hear you…can you hear me? Well that’s something…so it must be a problem at your end…oh, Tom…do you have a new headset?…you have it on back to front…the mic is pointing to the back of your head…you need to turn it around….there we are…
…Ooh, Alex and other boys in the IT suite, I’m just going to have to mute you a second as Y5’s vocal warm up in their music lesson behind you is quite enthusiastic and I’m struggling to hear your answer….
‘N-o O-l-l-i-e s-t-i-l-l n-o-t s-t-a-r-t-e-d…’
